Hacktivate

And now for something completely different. Guest blogger (he doesn't know I am posting this, I hope he doesn't sue me, especially now that he is almost a lawyer) Sean Carney, reminds us to get outdoors. 

OK you pansy-ass lilly livers.  It's time for you to stop spending your summer nancying about in your fancy pants and sipping fruity drinks under the cabana by the pool at your shi-shi gentlemen's clubs and get out into the backcountry.  That's right, ladies - trade in your man-purses for 6-inch serrated deer-gutting knives and strap on your steel-shanked, lug-soled, ass-kickers instead of your super-soft burnished calf-skin penny loafers.  

Forget about gelling up your frosted-tip, blow-dried coiffures and jam on a bush hat instead, you milk-sipping mama's boys.  That's right, my little violets, it's time to go hiking.  Put down your barbie dolls, take your thumbs out of your mouths and stop snivelling.  You used  to love hiking.  You still do.  But grown-up life has made you soft and afraid to get dirty.  So, I extend to you, an offer to go hiking this coming Saturday or Sunday, 
July 2 or 3.  "Oh but it's the 4th of July and I'll miss the fireworks, so I can't go!" you wail in your high-pitched, girlish voice.  Oh, but you're wrong - the 4th isn't until Monday.  And you're scared of fireworks anyway, remember?  They're too loud for your ears.

The deal is this, buttercups.  Darcy and I plan to hike up the East Fork of the San Gabriel river in the Angeles National Forest above Azusa and want you to go with us.  It is an in and back hike about 9 to 10 miles round-trip, very little elevation gain with a number of shallow river crossings.  Your feet will get wet.  Your destination is the Bridge to Nowhere, a 120 foot high concrete arch highway bridge over one of Southern California's deepest gorges.  The bridge was built by the Civilian Conservation Corps in the early 1930s, along with a paved highway along the banks of the East Fork.  The intent was to continue the road throught the Angeles National Forest and into the high desert beyond.   However, record rainfall in 1938 created massive floods which washed away the paved road. The government abandoned its plans, and nature reclaimed the river valley.  However, the highway bridge remains.  It is an impressive and startling monument deep in the heart of the San Gabriel mountain wilderness, and well worth the hike.  And isn't Donut Man near Azusa?  Why not reward ourselves after the hike?

Sorry Sean if you get a bunch of crazies with big knives that want to join you on your hike, but I couldn't resist sharing a fantastic piece of writing.